Model T to Lamborghini: Today’s way of dodging emotions 

Emotions and feelings -some wear them on their sleeves and communicate how they are feeling while others run as fast they can away from any type of uncomfortable feelings or from communicating about it.

This is so true!  I am one of the runners.  I believe that for me it was due to not having a parents or supportive environment to show me or talk about the importance of dealing with emotions.  I was raised by foster parents and guardians where I was to be seen but never heard.  No one ever asked me to share how I felt and I didn’t want to trouble them with my problems.  I dealt with emotions by keep them locked up deep inside.  My thought was that I would try to forget the emotion or feeling and deal with it later.  My way to deal with emotions and feelings as a kid and a young adult was to play basketball – I mean hours and hours of shooting basketballs by myself.  As I got older, graduated college, established a career, got married and had children I did not have time to spend hours and hours shooting hoops to work through my emotions or feelings anymore.  Not having a way to dealing with emotions can lead into ways of coping that are not healthy.

I admire people who can say how they feel.  It is a great honor for me when someone shares their feelings with me.  Sometimes just having someone there to listen is all they need to make them feel better.  Although I am not good with communicating how I feel, it has made me a better listener and has helped me learn to help others with emotions and feelings as they work through the grieving process.  We learn something from everyone we meet whether we recognize it at the time or not.

Every family I meet with will tell me stories about the kind of person their loved one was. Taking the time to enjoy listening to these stories provides me, as a funeral director, the ability provide a more personalized, one of kind service for the family.  These personalized services will make us cry and sometimes laugh.  If you can help a family and friends attend a service and let them cry, laugh and feel a range of emotions it can help with the acceptance of the death and coping with the grief.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  There is no time-frame to follow.  What is important is that we recognize that grief is a natural response to loss and our journey is our own. The journey may start with creating a personal tribute to the person we’ve lost to honor the life he or she lived. Knowing, as community members, friends, family, and other loved ones arrive to share in the tribute to his or her memory, that we are truly not alone in our grief.  It is shared by those who love us and who loved our loved one.

Finding support is important in a time of grief.  Whether it is with a family member, friend, therapist or minister take time to communicate your feelings and work though the process of healing.  Time may not heal all wounds, but it can make it less intense.



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